Anglican Samizdat

April 13, 2009

How to become a greeter in the Diocese of Niagara

Filed under: Diocese of Niagara — David Jenkins @ 6:06 pm

The Diocese of Niagara has a rigorous training program for greeters in diocesan parishes. After scouring the civilised world for an archetype upon which to model diocesan greeters, they found this:


For those who feel they have the stamina needed for the necessary education and genetic modifications please apply here.



  1. By Jove, I think Niagara has got it!
    Greeting is a fine mixture balancing image with warmth and information gathering.
    St Hilda’s should immediately be made the epicentre for their greeter training programme. (Since they’ve stopped teaching the Gospel, everything is “training” now isn’t it?)

    Comment by Jim Muirhead — April 14, 2009 @ 6:21 am

  2. Is that a still from Coronation Street??

    Comment by Kate — April 14, 2009 @ 8:49 am

  3. No, it’s Nora Batty from a BBC comedy, Last of the Summer Wine. The actress who played Nora was Kathy Staff and she died recently.

    Comment by David — April 14, 2009 @ 9:03 am

  4. Heh, heh, heh 🙂

    Comment by Peter — April 14, 2009 @ 11:07 am

  5. hahahahahaha … priceless!!!

    Comment by Jeffrey — April 14, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

  6. So according to this, they will do the following:
    “assist a parish in understanding and implementing the Bishop’s vision at the local level.”
    “assist in creating an agreed upon ministry covenant of expectations between the Bishop, the parish and the incoming priest.”

    I’m assuming that “assist” is a euphemism for “forcefully make to submit”.

    Comment by Andrew — April 14, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

  7. It’s the “Bishop’s Vision” that scares me.

    Comment by Gawk — April 15, 2009 @ 5:59 am

  8. So you were terrorized by a little old lady? You’re a bigger wimp than I’d been told.

    Comment by John Smith — April 18, 2009 @ 7:56 pm

  9. Hey, little old ladies can be quite terrifying! Try changing the channel at a retirement home when reruns of “The Price is Right” is on, and stick around to see what happens…

    Next time, David, bring Bob Barker with you for extra muscle. You’ll have no trouble!

    Comment by NLees — April 19, 2009 @ 8:10 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: