Anglican Samizdat

April 21, 2009

Garden gnomes for the prurient rustic

Filed under: Daft — David Jenkins @ 12:11 pm

A gardener in the West Midlands, UK is inspiring licentiousness in the population of the tiny village of Hunnington by Add an Imagedisplaying naked garden gnomes. The town council, in a last ditch effort to prevent the village sinking into a slough of Rabelaisian orgiastic abandon, has ordered that the gnomes be robed.

Friendly, unassuming and often cheeky, garden gnomes delight visitors to gardens all over the country, and are rarely a cause for complaint.

But widow Sandra Smith has had to go clothes shopping after a neighbour complained her gnomes were showing just a bit too much bare-faced cheek.

The naked gnomes – which have been pride of place in her West Midlands garden for 15 years – now sport an extra layer after a call from a council officer.

The gymnophobic neighbour has complained:

‘They are childish and I think it pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone.’

That may be so, but the real question is, is the censorship of nude gnomes a threat to cultural diversity?



  1. They will want clothing on Michelangelo’s David next. Now there is a garden gnome if there ever was. The Florentines stuck him out in their main square buck naked. OK he was a bit better done than some garden gnomes but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    Comment by Gawk — April 21, 2009 @ 5:43 pm

  2. Gawk,

    Speaking of which, when I was in Cologne a couple of years back, I took This. It was originally put there for a rainbow celebration and the city council decided to keep it.

    Comment by David — April 21, 2009 @ 5:50 pm

  3. You really MUST send a gnome our way at “The Great Un-Gnome Enterprises” This really would changes things up around here. Trevor and Fitzgerald are hoping for the best.

    Comment by lisacolondelay — April 26, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

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