Anglican Samizdat

December 26, 2009

The 2009 awards for Canadian Anglican Dowfart of the Year

Filed under: Anglican — David Jenkins @ 12:39 am

The runners up

Primate Fred Hiltz for being unable to do what my five year old granddaughter can do: state what the Gospel is.

John Chapman, Bishop of Ottawa for coining the silliest phrase of the year: experiential discernment: trying to decide whether doing something is right by – doing it. Although I was unfamiliar with the terminology, I was closely acquainted with the technique by the time I was four. When I stole biscuits out of the biscuit jar, my mother experientially discerned me.

Bishop Michael Ingham for having the effrontery to invite ANiC congregations to stay in their buildings under his leadership. Evidently he was under the impression that the congregations had not read Proverbs 26:11: As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Archdeacon Michael Patterson for saying that poverty is a sin with a capital “S” – move over idolatry, murder and theft.

Rev. Charles Stirling for his defence of homosexuality activity: animals do it, so it must be OK for humans, too.

Rev. Rick Jones for saying that the 135th Diocese of Niagara Synod would be as significant as the first moon landing. I should have a Moonbat award for Ricky.

The Venerable Lynne Corfield for sending out a letter appealing for $750,000 to fund the Diocese of Niagara’s lawsuits against ANiC Christians and giving it the heading Passion for Justice

Bishop Michael Bird for suing ANiC wardens personally.

Honourable mention: The nameless schlemiel who published a Lenten Meditation claiming that Jesus was a racist.

And the winner is

Nora Batty, Bouncer for the Diocese of Niagara. Nora barred my entrance to the church where I have worshipped for 30 years and pushed me unceremonious out of the building. On Easter morning I was thrown out of my church building, the Niagara Diocese threatened to sue me and my blog had more hits in one day than it normally gets in a month. Thanks Nora, I had a wonderful time; how was it for you?

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  1. Is her last name really Batty? That’s rather unfortunate.

    Comment by Kate — December 28, 2009 @ 10:37 am

  2. No, Nora Batty was a character from a British TV series, Last of the Summer Wine. There seemed to be a resemblance.

    Comment by David — December 28, 2009 @ 1:46 pm

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