Anglican Samizdat

January 30, 2010

Osama bin Laden places the final nail in the coffin of global warming theories

Filed under: Global Warming — David Jenkins @ 12:58 pm

The well-respected climatologist, Osama bin Laden dispatched this warning from his high-tech weather monitoring station deep in a cave somewhere in the mountainous region of Afghanistan:

“Speaking about climate change is not a matter of intellectual luxury — the phenomenon is an actual fact,” the tape says according to al-Jazeera. “All of the industrialized countries, especially the big ones, bear responsibility for the global warming crisis.”

“George Bush junior, preceded by [the US] congress, dismissed the agreement to placate giant corporations. And they are themselves standing behind speculation, monopoly and soaring living costs.”

“They are also behind ‘globalisation and its tragic implications’. And whenever the perpetrators are found guilty, the heads of state rush to rescue them using public money.”

Having set the world straight on climate change, George Bush, large corporations, industrialised countries and globalisation, Osama will be focussing his energy on US health care reform; it will be called Osama-care.


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