Anglican Samizdat

February 3, 2010

Bishops in Space

Filed under: Anglican Church of Canada — David Jenkins @ 2:05 pm

As Lone Star Parson observes, the Anglican Church of Canada, boldly going where no man has gone before:

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The Hubble Telescope has captured striking new images of a remarkable object in the night sky – the diminutive Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) hurtling into deep space.

ACoC’s tiny 140 meter nucleus is unusual for being “off center” and unlike larger, more powerful ecclesial bodies, this one has “no gas in its tail”, say sources studying the phenomenon.

A top scientist at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, believes the object is debris left over from a collision with the normative teaching authority of the Church, stating, “The collision likely occurred at over 15,000 kilometres per hour, five times the speed of a rifle bullet, and liberated energy in excess of a nuclear bomb.”

Since 2000, ACoC has shrunk from a little over 650,000 attendees in 2000 to around 325,000 in 2010, a loss of over 20,000 people annually. Pundits predict that no-one will be left by mid-century if ACoC continues on its current trajectory between Mars and Jupiter.


1 Comment

  1. Interesting numbers there David. Any idea how many pew sitters are in retirement? On pensions? Are only there so they can be buried out of a “real” church? etc etc.
    Then of these how many are clergy or support staff?
    I’d say that if the ACoC has 100,000 active energetic people in the pews it is amazing. And if one divides those 100 thousand by all the churches still not sold off how many per parish is that?
    No my friend the critical mass has been reached and the implosion is happening as we watch. Fast.
    I’m sure people can give us many examples of the ongoing collapse from the selling off of the Anglican Book Store to the PWRDF staff reductions. I’m waiting for a cathedral to close and if the noise from Quebec and Montreal is any indication it is going to be soon. Oh wait a minute we have already had a diocese go belly up in the west and I guess that means a cathedral has closed!
    Alright then I’ll pick something else. It should be easy.

    Comment by obituary — February 3, 2010 @ 11:25 pm

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