Anglican Samizdat

February 17, 2010

An iPodless Lent

Filed under: bishops gone wild — David @ 10:19 am
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Anglican bishops suggest we turn off our iPods for Lent. I didn’t think the average bishop knew what an iPod was:

The bishops of Liverpool and London have called on us to give up our iPods for Lent, which starts today, Ash Wednesday. That’s a sacrifice of which most of us, of a certain age, can heartily approve, since we don’t actually own iPods. But we might wonder what the point of it all is.

It’s appears to be one of the Church of England’s seasonal flurries of post-modern rubrics, like being told which carols are politically incorrect at the start of Advent. When it comes to Lent, we’re cutomarily told that it’s about a whole lot more than giving up booze and chocolate, that we should take up worthwhile activities too and, in the techno age, that some central Church Deep Thought will text us a daily scriptural bon mot if we just ask for it.

And where could that glimpse lead? One destination could be a church like mine, where this evening the choir will sing Allegri’s Miserere, its repeated soprano refrain like an angel’s wail from heaven and the transcendental beauty and spiritual re-assurance of which moves the undistracted listener to tears. It’s certainly worth turning your iPod off for.

Unless, like me, you have Allegri’s Miserere on your iPod; presumably that is worth turning your iPod on for.

Turning off your iPod during Lent is all part of the CofE’s batty bishops contingent Carbon Fast plan. It includes not flushing the toilet – something that fits nicely with no iPod since you won’t be tempted to sit listening to Allegri’s Miserere while sitting on a pile of yesterday’s unflushed poop.

Another suggestion from our technically astute bishops is to:

Eat by candlelight. How many rooms do you light in the evenings? Turn out the lights and have a meal by candlelight.

which will fill the air with benzene, styrene, toluene, acetone and particulate matter. At least it will take everyone’s mind off the unflushed toilets.

I do like the idea of the carbon averse bishops being as disconnected from the Internet as they are from reality, though; perhaps they should also switch their microphones off while delivering sermons.

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2 Comments

  1. LOL, classic!

    Comment by Stuart — February 17, 2010 @ 10:35 am

  2. […] from David over at Anglican Samizdat:- Anglican bishops suggest we turn off our iPods for Lent. I didn’t think the average bishop knew […]

    Pingback by An iPodless Lent & Prayers for Ash Wednesday | eChurch Christian Blog — February 17, 2010 @ 10:43 am


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