The Anglican Church of Canada is not obsessed with sex. At all.

Particularly not homosexual sex.

As Bishop John Chapman says:

It may be a hot-button topic in the mainstream media but the issue of human sexuality – including homosexuality – hardly saw the light of day at the gathering in England Feb. 24-26 of six African bishops and five Canadian bishops, including Bishop John Chapman. “We had an initial conversation on human sexuality on the first evening together and that was the last time we talked about it,” said the bishop in a recent Crosstalk interview.

It’s true that Bishop Michael Ingham has a web site dedicated to the subject and John Chapman hit the headlines of the Ottawa Citizen – but that was just a media plot to make him look as if he thinks about little else. The Anglican Church of Canada has a similar problem; this extensive Wikipedia article is clearly part of the same plot.

To show how far the enemies of the ACoC are prepared to go to make it look ridiculous, here is a remarkably lifelike simulacrum of Fred Hiltz describing how he went all the way to the UK to discuss unnatural sex with Rowan Williams. In spite of the patent absurdity of this hoax, it presents conclusive evidence that the concocters of this devious conspiracy have reached a worrying level of technical sophistication. You can see from this video that the counterfeit is almost as dull as the real thing; an astonishing achievement.

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The Anglican Church of Canada tackles poverty

By sponsoring a film in which people love paying taxes and business is the villain. The reason for this sponsorship is made no less recondite by the fact that the ACoC is running out of money and is appealing to business to sponsor its forthcoming synod.

The most memorable scene in Poor No More, a documentary that premiered this week in Toronto, takes place on the shop floor of a large truck manufacturer in Sweden.

A female employee, talking while she works, says it’s “okay to pay taxes because our system takes care of all the people.” She explains that if she became sick or had an accident, she would get 80 per cent of her wages. Like all Swedes, she is entitled to subsidized child care, elder care, high-quality health care and 10 days of parental leave a year.

A delegation of Canadian visitors — host Mary Welsh and two Canadian workers trapped in insecure, low-wage jobs — listens in disbelief.

The trio moves outside to a Stockholm street. “I love paying taxes,” a passerby affirms.

It seems as if the Canadians have stepped into fantasyland.

That is what the filmmakers intend. “If we can’t imagine a world without poverty, we probably can’t get there,” says executive producer David Langille.

The documentary, a three-year effort, is Langille’s first foray into the world of filmmaking. He is a part-time university professor with an extensive network of contacts in the social justice movement.

Fifty sponsors — from the Society of Energy Professionals to the Anglican Church of Canada — paid for the $550,000 film.

The goal of the documentary is to break the barriers that prevent Canadians from acting to eliminate poverty.

The first is a belief that only a small minority cares. The second is a belief that the cause is futile. The third is burnout. After 25 years of lobbying, organizing, demonstrating and preaching, the poverty rate has barely changed.

This time, Langille and his colleagues want to send a message of hope: Poverty can be beaten, without bankrupting the national treasury or reducing the country’s standard of living.

The documentary is polished, interesting and well-paced. But it is one-sided. Every commentator in it — professors, authors, union leaders and heads of think-tanks — blames big business and its friends in government for turning Canada into a land of poverty amidst plenty.

Anglican Church of Canada busy ridding the world of nuclear weapons

Having failed to find the money needed to run its own synod, the ACoC has decided to tackle something easier:

Subject: Toward a World Free of Nuclear Weapons

Moved by: The Rev. Canon Dr. William E. Prentice, Diocese of Ottawa

Seconded by: The Rev. Dr. Linda Privitera, Diocese of Ottawa

Be it resolved that this General Synod:

Expresses its support for a world free of nuclear weapons, and asks the General Secretary to convey our position to the Government of Canada, requesting:

1. from the Government information about Canadian activities to support nuclear disarmament, and
2. from the Prime Minister a public affirmation of Canada’s commitment to a world free of nuclear weapons.

Many are rejoicing as the ACoC does its bit to disarm the West:

The Anglican Church of Canada does health and wealth

Its own health and wealth, that is; it now has a Theology of Philanthropy:

The new way: a theology of philanthropy
While we admit that putting a stop to this is not an easy task, and certainly not something we can do alone, the Department of Philanthropy is working diligently with dioceses, parishes and our partners within the national church to help the church unearth a theology of philanthropy—a theology that is mission-driven and that inspires Canadian Anglicans to give gladly as a faithful expression of their Christian vocation.

If the Biblical injunction to tithe hasn’t persuaded Anglicans to fork over their cash, there’s going have to be a lot of digging before the ACoC unearth(s) a theology of philanthropy that will. Oh, sorry, I forgot: to take tithing seriously requires a literalistic reading of Scripture.

The Anglican Church of Canada is dafter than Richard Dawkins

Here is the Anglican Church of Canada’s answer to the anti-theists: Jesus was the equivalent of  an evolutionary misfit; far from God being infinite, he’s not even big; let’s try pantheism and worship the cosmos for a change.

That should appeal to Dawkins and Hitchens; I am expecting an imminent conversion.

[T]he bigger we try to make God, the more silly such a God sounds. If we want people to take God seriously, they are telling us, forget the idea of God as a very big person out there.

Like Charles Darwin, author of Origin of the Species, Dawkins is telling us that new kinds of animals are created when large numbers of normal animals die off. Misfits suddenly fit well and become the ancestors of a new normal. If life has arisen on other planets or anywhere in the universe, that process of death leading to new forms of life will be the way it happens.

But that sounds strangely like Christ. He was a misfit who insisted on fairness and dignity for all, including women, the diseased and social outcasts of all kinds. That sort of equality would never fit into the violent hierarchy of human empires, yet through his death, Christ became the ancestor of a whole new kind of human–the community founded in God’s kingdom of justice, the community that is a follower of The Way.

Rather than asking people to imagine a great Being in the sky, maybe we should be focusing on faith in Christ as a way to grasp the deepest mystery of life. What if our worship spoke to the realities of the cosmos, of life, that skeptics already know to be true?

Then, would our worship elicit hysterics or awe?

I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to feel the onset of a bout of hysterics; hysterical laughter, that is.

Anglican Church of Canada is hawking the silverware

What’s the next step after corporate sponsors? Peddling spoons on ebay.

The Fred Hiltz Corporate Sponsor Letter

Here is the letter from Fred Hiltz asking for corporate sponsors:

Dear Friend,

I am writing to invite you to partner with the Anglican Church of Canada as a corporate sponsor for our national gathering in Halifax, Nova Scotia from June 3rd to 11th, 2010. Nearly five hundred people from coast to coast will gather at St. Mary’s University for General Synod which is held every three years.

The theme for General Synod 2010 is “Feeling the winds of God: Charting a New Course”. A major piece of our work will be to consider Vision 2019, a dynamic plan to renew our commitment to God’s mission and to invigorate our ministries of service in that mission. We will also be engaged by presentations on major global issues such as poverty, human sexuality, the rights of indigenous peoples, and the care of the environment. Among a number of special guests at the Synod will be the Anglican Bishop of Jerusalem, the Anglican Observer to the United Nations (by appointment of the Archbishop of Canterbury), the Secretary General of the Worldwide Anglican Communion, and two commissioners of Canada’s Truth & Reconciliation Commission.

This event not only presents an opportunity for you to get your message out to delegates from across Canada, and it is also an opportunity for you to support a faithful group of community and not-forprofit leaders from across the country and their guests from around the world. Comprised of bishops, as well as clergy and lay people elected by their own dioceses, delegates to General Synod are some of the most committed, dedicated and tireless volunteers in our country – they are people who do much to sustain our common life and make the world a better place. In addition to the gathered community, Synod-on-demand now attracts an internet audience in excess of 30 thousand international viewers.

It is my hope that you will consider this invitation and the positive impact your corporation’s support will have on the Church’s ability to ensure the sustainability of this national gathering for years to come.

In Christ,

I am,

Sincerely yours,

The Most Rev. Fred J. Hiltz

Primate

Since there is little that excites me more than “major global issues such as poverty, human sexuality, the rights of indigenous peoples, and the care of the environment”, I am currently negotiating the price of having the Anglican Samizdat logo tastefully emblazoned on every clerical collar.

The Anglican Church of Canada is seeking corporate sponsors

From the Globe and Mail:

The Anglican Church of Canada is inviting corporate sponsorship of its national convention this year, selling space for brand logos on delegate documents, advertising signs in its meeting spaces and a private lunch for executives with the church’s senior archbishop.

A nautical theme for the Anglican Church of Canada’s General Synod 2010

A theme well suited to a church at sea:

From June 3 to11, more than 500 people will gather in Halifax, N.S. for the national triennial meeting of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACC). Uniting under the nautical theme “Feeling the Winds of God—Charting a New Course,” General Synod members will make decisions about the national church in the context of worship and prayer.

The Anglican Church of Canada: filthy capitalist

It has a Sears catalogue:

The Anglican Church of Canada is pleased to announce the launch of Acts of Faith; A Guide to Supporting the Ministries of the Anglican Church of  Canada.  The gift guide is a joint initiative of the Departments of Philanthropy and Communications and Information Resources, and represents an unprecedented collaboration amongst all of the partners and charitable entities within the national church; bringing them together in one fundraising vehicle for the first time.

Numerous schemes to persuade you to part with your money:

Gift Planning means finding a way to make an important gift to a cause you believe in while still getting the best tax benefits possible and achieving personal financial goals.

And recently added corporate sponsors:

The Anglican Church of Canada is pleased to announce that for the first time in its 117 year history, General Synod is offering religious based organizations and affiliates the opportunity to support its triennial national convention through a variety of unique sponsorship initiatives.

The information below will help you better understand the opportunities in sponsorship of the upcoming General Synod meeting in Halifax.

I am looking forward to the ACoC peddling its wares in an infomercial. I have a suspicion Fred Hiltz already uses this:

Vision 2019: the Anglican Church of Canada is in serious decline

At least someone in the ACoC has noticed it is in serious decline:

“The church of Christ in every age, beset by change but Spirit led, must claim and test its heritage and keep on rising from the dead.”  (“The Church of Christ in Every Age,” #584, Common Praise)

“Beset by change but Spirit led”—this description of the church could apply to any century and certainly applies today. Media reports confirm what our best demographics tell us, that the Anglican Church of Canada is in serious decline in terms of numbers and influence. It is time to claim our heritage and be open to the leading of the Spirit.

If we reclaim our vocations—as evangelists, storytellers, caregivers, advocates for peace and justice, and stewards of creation—the church can and will find new ways to express service to God and neighbour.

This message is begging for a little translation. When the ACoC says open to the leading of the Spirit, it is not referring to God the Holy Spirit, third member of the Trinity. It is referring to the institutional zeitgeist, a junior demon subject to strict orders from the National Zeitgeist, the senior demon.

In addition, since, by and large, the ACoC no longer believes in the innate sinfulness of man, that he deserves God’s judgement and without redemption will end up in hell,  it isn’t aware that there is anything he needs saving from other than global warming. So when evangelism is mentioned the good news that is the subject of the evangelism is nothing more than nice liturgy, nice preaching and nice stories – and who, other than the usual coterie of effete clergy, really cares about that.

As the title says, the Anglican Church of Canada is in serious decline.

What is the Anglican Church of Canada all about?

The April edition of the Anglican Journal provides the clue. Here is a selection of headlines:

Falling in love with Mother Earth
The green wave is sweeping across many Anglican parishes in Canada.

Eco-spirit strong in New Westminster
Respond to one of the most urgent issues of our time: care for the earth. (What the hell is an “eco-spirit”?)

Begin with a simple cup of joe
If congregations want to take action on environmental and climate change issues, they can begin with a simple cup of joe.

You can go green at home, too!
Even if you can’t go off the power grid, you can buy your electricity from Bullfrog Power, which sources electricity from wind and hydro-electric facilities.

Small steps
Look to Greening Sacred Spaces

There you have it: The Anglican Church is getting into the eco-spirit of things by loving Mother Earth while drinking fair-trade coffee heated with Bullfrog Power all in a lush verdant sanctuary. I think I’m turning green; pass the sick-bag.

Rev. Alan T Perry should wear a burka

Perhaps it would shut him up. From the Montreal Gazette:

Yolande James, Quebec’s immigration minister and the Liberal MNA for the West Island’s Nelligan riding, got a rude awakening yesterday.

Rev. Alan T. Perry, the Anglican pastor of St. Barnabas Church in Pierrefonds, took James to task for her decision last week to bar a woman wearing a niqab from French classes for immigrants.

In a letter to The Gazette, Perry chastised James for reneging on her baptismal and confirmation obligations as an Anglican “to strive for justice and peace among all people and respect for the dignity of every human being.”

“I was surprised to see that,” James told The Gazette. “Notably because, first of all, I’m Catholic.

Perry later apologised to James for misidentifying – stigmatising – her as Anglican. Nevertheless, his insistence on striving for peace and justice is only in evidence when convenient. Here, for example, Perry is determined to illegitimately strip the clerical title from Anglican clergy because they refused to acquiesce to the heretical drift of the church that employs him.

Being green makes you mean

Says the Guardian

According to a study, when people feel they have been morally virtuous by saving the planet through their purchases of organic baby food, for example, it leads to the “licensing [of] selfish and morally questionable behaviour”, otherwise known as “moral balancing” or “compensatory ethics”.

This goes go a long way to explain the behaviour of the Anglican Church of Canada, which is very keen on green.

The Anglican Church of Canada and Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada shacking up together

The ACoC and ELCIC have been unified in their determination to continue a Gadarene plunge into the oblivion of diverse, inclusive neo-pagan Gaia worship and left wing political agitation. So it is only fitting that, as each becomes increasingly financially embarrassed, their leaders share an office.

In other business, CoGS voted to authorize Archbishop Fred Hiltz, in consultation with Susan Johnson, the national bishop of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada, and the co-chairs of the Canadian Joint Anglican Lutheran Commission to explore the pros and cons of sharing a national office in Ottawa.

Archbishop Hiltz, who is primate of the Anglican Church of Canada, added that a greater presence in the nation’s capital could “position us in new and different ways in terms of our work with government leaders and our capacity to have influence and shape public policy.”

I’m all for Fred and Susan positioning themselves in new and different ways; it should prove most entertaining.